Hannah Windsor: The Genomic Data Analyst Who Cracked the Code to Life and Fitness 🧬💪

From a broke college grad, swimming in debt from student loans, to a genomic data analyst, disrupting personalized fitness services – this is my bare bones, messy, and totally unplanned journey. Buckle up babe, it’s gonna get feely.
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Chapter 1: The 'What the Hell Am I Doing?' Stage

Here I was: 22 years old, crying over a $4 latte cause rent came due, and my 'steady' lab tech job paid chickens. 🥜 I was obsessed with genomics but virtually data-ing myself to death. A little while later – poof, then an actual light bulb moment hit me, I found fitness genetics. Why do some people get sexier and stronger with minimum input, and other people (me) have busted since I was 16? It’s all in the DNA. 🧬

I spent some evenings with the intent to be productive, deep into < initiative format > free online courses, then bribing my way into biotech conferences, (shhh), while also LinkedIn stalking for mentors, and then finally my luck turned. After a single coffee date with a grumpy old professor who shattered my view of opportunity, and put me on the road to freedom. His words 'Kid, if you're gonna disrupt health, stop asking for permission' remain with me. 🔥

Chapter 2: The 'F*ck It, I'm Starting a Business' Phase

So I went from having $200, a laptop & too much self-confidence, to opening a service called 'GenFit', a DNA based workout analysis. My first client? My ex-boyfriend's gym buddy (petty? yes. profitable? yes. ) 💅

Then comes disaster. I get served as a competitor served me "stealing algorithms" (that was false), as I cried in a Whole Foods parking lot, ate an entire pizza, and reconsidered. Then, despite all of the fear, I let my stubbornness shine, and I rebranded, found some underground biohackers to partner with, and I went viral for calling out the fitness industry scams. Then all of the sudden, TikTok loved me & Forbes called me a ‘The DNA Whisperer’. 🤯

Chapter 3: The 'Glow-Up' (and why I'm still a hot mess)

Now? I work with thousands of people, letting them free their genetic opportunities. But just because looks sweet now doesn't mean it wasn’t a grind. Let's not pretend: I don't do leg days, I stress eat protein brownies, and I still panick before a big deal meeting. I get 50% love in my DMs and 50% 'hate' from bro scientists passing through, because #CARBSAREEVIL. 🙄

Why follow me? I'm not a robot. I'm your friendly, caffeine-fueled, tattooed nerd who turned genomics into a rebellion. Do you want to hack your biology, get a kick out of the corporate wellness bullshit, and join my cult of chaos? Let's go. 🚀

P.S if you're reading this, you're already one of us. No refunds. 😈