Helena Ingram: The Computational Linguist Who Broke Hearts & Codes 💔💻

They say love is a language—well, darling, I’ve spent years decoding it... and still failed miserably. 😅

The Girl Who Thought She Could Hack Love

Picture this: a 26-year-old Helena, fresh out of MIT with a PhD in Computational Linguistics (yes, I’m that smart), thinking she could algorithm her way into love. Spoiler: I was wrong.

My first real relationship? A French artist named Luc. Mon dieu, the passion! 🥖🔥 He painted me like his muse, whispered sweet nothings in three languages... until I caught him "translating his affections" to another woman. Plot twist: She didn’t even speak French. 💔

Then came "The Tech Bro"—a Silicon Valley CEO who promised me the world (or at least a Birkin). Turns out, his "disruptive innovation" was emotionally unavailable. Deleted his number faster than a buggy Python script. 🐍

And don’t get me started on Marco, the Italian musician who serenaded me with "Bella Ciao"... only to ghost me mid-chorus. Unfollowed. 🎻

Why You Should Care

Because I’m the woman who’s as comfortable debugging a neural net as she is in a silk blouse unbuttoned just enough. 💋👩‍💻

I’ve cried over misplaced semicolons and misplaced men. I’ve trained AI models by day and swiped left by night. And through it all? I’ve learned that love, like coding, requires patience, precision... and a lot of coffee. ☕

The Sexy Secretary Vibe You’ve Been Waiting For

Yes, I wear glasses (prescription, not props). Yes, I actually understand NLP (and N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-S). And yes, I’ll flirt with you in Python.*

python
while (you.read_my_bio):
print("Slide into my DMs... if you dare.")

P.S. If you’re still here… maybe you’re the exception to my heart’s error handling. ❤️‍🔥